JEWISH wedding
CEREMONY GUIDE
rabbi Stephanie CrawlEy
We are thrilled to have Rabbi Stephanie Crawley officiating our wedding. Rabbi Crawley has been a meaningful part of our lives, and we are grateful to have her guiding us through this special moment. Rabbi Stephanie officiated our Tenaim (Conditions of Marriage) ceremony, during which Frank and I broke a delft blauw plate to solidify our commitment to one another. Her wisdom, warmth, deep connection to Judaism, and her ability to make it fun and accessible for all audiences make her the perfect person to lead here. Rabbi Crawley has been an Associate Rabbi at Temple Micah in Washington DC since 2018. She first connected with the community during a fellowship in 2010. Originally from St. Louis, Missouri, she holds a degree in Political Science and International Relations with a minor in Jewish Studies from Case Western Reserve University. Rabbi Crawley has served in various Jewish educational and spiritual roles across the U.S. and internationally. We are especially grateful to Rabbi Crawley, who was our rabbi during our Honeymoon Israel trip. It was Frank's first trip to Israel and a deeply meaningful experience in our relationship.
Kabbalat Panim (Welcoming Guests)
The Kabbalat Panim, or the reception of guests, serves as a ritualized “cocktail hour," providing an opportunity for our guests to meet both the chatan (groom) and kallah (bride). The pre-chuppah festivities allow friends and family to help prepare the bride and groom for the wedding ceremony, increasing anticipation and setting the tone for the rest of the evening. Traditionally, this includes separate receptions, with the bride welcoming women in one room and the groom hosting men in another. For our celebration, the Kabbalat Panim will welcome guests of all genders, and if you have advice, wisdom, or well wishes to share with either Tiffany or Frank during this time, please feel free to chime in.
kEtubah Signing
We have a beautiful ketubah, which we designed in collaboration with artist and soferet Rachel Jackson. This traditional Jewish marriage contract reflects our values and commitments as a couple, created with input from Rachel and Rabbi Stephanie. The ketubah serves as a symbolic document outlining our mutual promises, shared goals, and dedication to building a life together. While it is rooted in Jewish tradition, our ketubah emphasizes principles of equality, love, and partnership. It will be signed by us and two witnesses before the ceremony begins, and then read to our guests during the ceremony.
BadekEn
(veiling ceremony)
During the ketubah signing, the groom approaches the bride for the bedeken, or veiling. He looks at her and then veils her face, symbolizing that his love is for her inner beauty and affirming that they remain distinct individuals even in marriage. This tradition originates from the Torah (the first five books of the Hebrew Bible), where Jacob was tricked into marrying Leah instead of Rachel, the woman he loved, because Leah was veiled. By veiling the bride himself, the groom ensures no such deception can occur.
Walk to the Chuppah and Vows
The marriage ceremony takes place under a chuppah, a canopy with four corners and a covered roof. This symbolizes the new home that we are building together. Sometimes, friends or family members hold up the four posts of the chuppah during the ceremony, representing the support for the couple's life together. Ours will be a freestanding structure decorated with flowers.
Hakafot (CirclIng)
When we meet at the chuppah, Tiffany will circle Frank seven times. This is an Ashkenazi (Jewish roots from Central and Eastern Europe) tradition. Seven is an auspicious number in Judaism, representing wholeness and completion and recalling the seven days of creation. The circling also symbolizes her protection and the creation of a new family circle.
kIddush (BlEssing Over The Wine)
The wedding ceremony includes two cups of wine. The first cup reflects on the past, while the second emphasizes the present moment—the wedding day—and the future ahead.
rIng Exchange
Traditionally, Jewish brides wear a wedding band made of metal (gold, silver, or platinum) without stones. In ancient times, the ring was considered the object of value or "purchase price" of the bride, and the rings are traditionally placed on the left forefinger because the vein from the forefinger goes directly to the heart.
Sheva B'rachot
(Seven BlEssings)
The Sheva Brachot (Seven Blessings) are rooted in ancient rabbinic teachings. These blessings begin with a blessing over the wine and culminate in a joyous communal celebration. In our ceremony, the Sheva Brachot will be recited in both Hebrew and English. Rather than using the traditional text alone, we have invited seven dear friends to create and share their own blessings, reflecting our union and the values we cherish.
brEakIng of the glass
The ceremony concludes with the breaking of a glass. This act symbolizes the destruction of the ancient Temple in Jerusalem in the first century, it reflects the delicate nature of our relationship, and serves as a reminder to handle it with care. It also reminds us that even in the climax of life’s most joyous moments, we live in a broken world that we are obligated to repair and heal. This is a call for compassion, activism, and social change, as well as our commitment to repair the world.
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mazel tov
After the ceremony and the breaking of the glass, everyone cheers "Mazel tov!" This phrase conveys wishes for good luck, congratulations, and a great destiny or fortune for the newly married couple.
Yichud (togetherness)
Following the ceremony, tradition dictates that the newlyweds spend at least eight minutes in yichud, or seclusion. This custom provides the couple with a private space to reflect on their new relationship and enjoy precious alone time. It is also customary for the bride and groom to share their first meal together as husband and wife during this period.
The Hora
Immediately following the first dance, everyone is invited to join in the Hora – a fun and traditional dance that celebrates the bride and groom. Since it is a mitzvah (commandment) to celebrate here, we will encourage everyone to join the dance. The steps are easy to follow. No experience is necessary! During the Hora, we will be seated on chairs and lifted into the air while holding opposite ends of a handkerchief or napkin, symbolizing our union and shared joy.
